My first step

I’ve had BDSM fantasies for many years. The game of power and trust always had a great attraction to me. An attractive woman who humiliates you has, strangely enough, something caring about it for me.

For years I searched the web looking for that one person, hoping to feel that special rush. I browsed through thousands of profiles on Fetlife and Twitter and even made an avatar on Second Life. Occasionally I dared to take small steps to put fantasy into reality. But the reality was always much less attractive than the story I had romanticized in my head. The pictures were often beautiful and the horniness came, but after an orgasm I felt shame. I felt empty inside and hated the feelings that turned me on. Feelings that I tried to hide but that always came back.

Like this the wheel went round for years. One night I came across Mistress Eve’s profile. I did not know what I saw for a moment. Her body is perfect, and her clothing emphasizes her dominance. In her short videos she looks at you seductively and she has eyes to drown in.

When I had a session with her, for the first time in my life it felt different afterwards. We talked for a while. I felt an authentic passion for what we did and a genuine acceptance of the feelings I have struggled with for so long in my life. So it can be done, I thought. For the first time in my life I felt a shame that feels good.

Of course I soon realized that I had fallen for her. She had me and she knew it. But I didn’t want anything else.

What this woman does to me I have never experienced before. I try to think rationally but my thoughts keep going back to the horny and perverted things she made me do. I’m going further than I ever dreamed, and I love it. It’s the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. Powerless, weak and addicted. That’s how I feel.

A normal person would think I need professional help. BDSM aficionados know that this is the most amazing feeling there is. I am on a journey living my ultimate fantasy.

I am powerless, weak and addicted to Mistress Eve.

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